No matter what I do on the anniversary of my dad's death, inside I'm spending the whole day holding back tears and just being sad that he isn't here with us. My friend Molly made me feel a little bit better about it yesterday. She pointed out that on that day, I'm allowed to wallow and sulk and miss him like crazy. I'm allowed to wish he was still here and get angry that he has missed so much, and cry about him never meeting my future husband. I can do all of that because I don't do it every other day of the year. I get it all out on that one day. I cry a lot and then it's over.
I woke up this morning feeling a bit like I had a hang over. It was certainly an emotional hangover. So today, unlike yesterday I'm going to smile. I'm going to know that he had an incredible influence on me and I'm going to work on living up to the standards that he always held me to.
A few of the things that did make me smile yesterday:
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| My sister's pink elephant flip flops. We always refer to my dad as the pink elephant in the room. |
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| This baby. I bought him that hat yesterday. He is so freaking handsome |
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